Depression a lot of christian suffer from it. The most famous is Charles Spurgeon. https://www.crossway.org/articles/did-you-know-that-charles-spurgeon-struggled-with-depression/
You are not alone when it comes to depression and coping with this sinful world. Celebrate recovery is a good way to find support. That is what I used going through my abusive marriage.
Suffering from depression does not make you a bad christian and never let some one play that head trip on you. You are a child of the Best farther out there and He will walk with you if you let him.